Last night I found myself reminiscing a bit about life before Elliette. Not that I would trade her for anything, but I just found myself thinking of what our life was like before her.
Having her a part of our home is pretty easy…we have made adjustments to our schedule, opened our home to more toys, and moved all the important things out of cupboards that are at her heights. She tends to have a pretty awesome sleeping schedule. 6 to 6 or sometimes 7 to 6. The last few weeks she has been throwing us a curve ball and waking at 4 or 5, but typically she just needs a little consoling and she is back to being fast asleep. We both have concluded that each time when she wakes us it is because she kicks her covers off of her, and who doesn’t hate being snuggling in bed and then all of a sudden not being snuggly and warm?
Before we had Elliette I had a whole “Before Baby” list. And I made my hubby promise the things on that list were done. And they were. It was really important to me and I felt so much ease during the first three months because I had a house of completed projects, bookwork and filing completely up to date, blog with posts all stocked up for a “maternity leave”, and a freezer full of meals to get our family and my cooking weeks at the farm by.
Last night was mainly thinking of all the time I lost before I had Elliette. I think back now and realize that I should have spent more time learning. More time side by side with my husband every day. Even if it is just riding along while he does his chores. That is probably what I miss the most about having Elliette in our life now. The time I spent working with my husband on the farm. We still get lots of time together, but it just doesn’t feel the same sometimes.
I always tell him that one of my favorite parts of us is our love of agriculture. I feel so blessed to have a partner in my life that I can sit down at night and discuss varying topics in the Ag industry. Sometimes it is something simple with him explaining why he does things a certain way and sometimes a bit more in depth, like the Farm Bill.
It isn’t necessarily the fact that we both love agriculture…it is the fact that we both share the same love and passion for something.
Now, instead of just hopping in the semi real quick at the end of the drive way to pick up a load of cattle. I need at least 10 minutes notice to get a new diaper on, a bottle ready, snacks in a cup, and a dressed baby. We still have time for talking, but I can’t help but think of the future when Elliette will be the one tagging along with Daddy instead of me. And she will consume his farm time. Just the thought of that brings a smile to my face.
I can’t help but think of how our life will change if we choose to one day add Baby 2. I may never get a “Before Baby” list done again or a freezer full of meals. And my dynamic on the farm will change even more so. Mainly because when you drag two little ones along, your lap and your arms are full, it makes it even harder to get stuff done!
On days where I find myself cooped up in the house playing on the floor with Elliette I find myself finding something farm to do during her naps. Even if it is something as simple as doing a little bookwork, making ear tags, or calling my husband to see what he is up to. And check on my heifers about 10 times a day! Or, I sit and simply stare off into space because my little bitty daughter has wore me out!
Every week I still get calls from my husband asking for help and I always take advantage because I know that times where we can still have adult conversations and only have one little one to wrestle are slim. And before we had Ellie we talked about how important it was to us to always put our marriage first, and that is something my farmer takes pretty seriously!
I feel like my days before Elliette I must have been lazy… because now they are so full. So full of head butting, kicks in the belly, messy kitchen floors, dirty diapers, smiles, giggles, sloppy kisses, oohs and ahhs, mamas, dadas, reading, rocking, consoling, cuddles, hugs, and completely full of love.
I may not have a complete day filled with adult conversation anymore with my husband but I do have days filled with lots and lots of love.
|Cleaning cattle water fountains and checking fences|