South Dakota Farm Wife

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You Might Be a Farm Wife…

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I normally try my hardest not to pass on forwards I get via email…but I was just discussing with a friend of mine the other day what it’s like to really be a farm wife. 

To help explain it this is what I sent her…
(This was actually much much longer, so I shortened it up a bit for more “light” reading.)

You Might Be a Farmer’s Wife…
  • If your name is taped to the side of a cakepan:
  • If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice:
  • If the vet’s number is on the speed dial of your phone:
  • If your second vehicle is still a pickup:
  • If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your yard:
  • If you’re in the habit of buying foodstuffs in bulk:
  • If the word “auction” makes you tingle:
  • If “picking rock” is considered a chance to get out of the house:
  • If “a little bit of lunch” involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch:
  • If the “fresh ingredients” your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores:
  • If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic:
  • If that pail with a hole in it is a flowerpot in the making:
  • If your rock garden was hand-picked:
  • If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them:
  • If you’re on the lookout for new uses for “Jell-O”:
  • If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells:
  • If “Farm”, “Ranch”, “Country”, “Cowboy” or “Antique” is in the name of your favorite magazine:
  • If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow:
  • If you’ve ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it hides the dirt under your nails:
  • If you’ve ever called your husband to supper, using a radio:
  • If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer:
  • If your mailbox looks like a piece of farm machinery:
  • If the daily paper is always a day late:
  • If you have a yard, but not a lawn:
  • If you have lots of machinery and each piece is worth more than your house:
  • If the leaky barn roof gets fixed, before the leaky house roof:
  • If the neighbor’s house is best viewed with binoculars:
  • If the directions to your house include the words, “miles,” “silos,” “last,” or “gravel road”:
  • If your storage shed is a barn:
  • If you measure travel in miles not minutes:
  • If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can’t find your husband:
  • If you consider “hot dish” a food group:
  • If your husband says, “Can you help me for a few minutes?” and you know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours:
  • If you plan your vacations around farm shows:
  • If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems:
  • If your car’s color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown:
  • If you’ve ever grown your own wall decorations:
  • If you’ve ever said, “Oh, it’s only a little mud.”:
  • If your husband gave you flowers, but you had to plant the seeds yourself:
  • If you’ve used the loader to reach the windows when they needed washing:
  • If you’ve ever used a broom to shoo a critter:
  • If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after dinner:
  • If you don’t need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars:
  • If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader:
  • If quality time with your hubby means you’ll have a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other:
  • If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn:
  • If you buy your husband’s “dress” socks at Campbell’s Supply:
  • If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours:
  • If “sharing a cab” has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field:
  • If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy:

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